On last week's Lessons From the Pit podcast episode, my guest mentioned how barbecue can be a lot like life sometimes when it comes to chaos.

And so this week I decided to do an unplanned episode about the very topic of chaos. Our family and extended family are walking through a bit of a chaotic season right now so it seems fitting to share a story of chaos from my own life and then share some tips with you that can help you navigate and cut through the chaos in order to continue to thrive in a life of intention and connection.

And so I feel like most of us have, are or will be facing seasons like this.

And so I hope that this blog will be a blessing to you and give you some encouragement and some tips to cut through the chaos in your life when you're in that season.

Several years back, I want to say probably seven years ago or so, my mom had some health issues. She found herself in the hospital. There was some stuff going on. She ended up being in the hospital for a couple months, actually.

She was in ICU for several weeks and then in the regular room for several more weeks and then in rehab for many more weeks after that.

My sister lived, she lived in Rochester, New York at the time, and so it was just me here taking care of my mom here in Arkansas.

So…I was working as the accounting manager in a corporate finance setting. I was a worship leader part time at a church. I was:

• working a 60-hour job

• Plus working 20 more hours at a part-time job

• Plus I was a dad

• Plus I was a husband

• Plus I was my own person

• Plus I was living at the hospital taking care of my mom while she was in the hospital

• Plus I was taking care of the my mom's house, my mom's bills and my mom's mail

• Plus I was running errands for my mom

• Plus I was taking care of getting my mom set up for a new housing situation

• Plus I was taking care of getting all the finances for her

• Plus I was getting all of the things set up for when she comes out of the hospital

You get the point. For me it was a life of total chaos. I had no time: I had no time for myself. I was working all the time and working from the hospital and trying to be home with the family and trying to love my wife, love my kids, spend time with them, spend time at the hospital, spend time with other people, spend time as a minister, spend time as a manager, and trying to pay our bills and trying to run our household!

It was crazy! I am sure I had some sort of mental breakdown but didn't have time to deal with it. I just had to deal with it and follow through. So, I just kept moving and I kept pushing through.

It was a really hard time. It was a time for me that was very much a solitary time. I felt very alone in the process. And it was disheartening, it was very defeating.

I don’t know if this sounds familiar for you or resonates with you, but at some point in your life, unfortunately, it will. Life is hard, right?

Today, I want to provide you with a few tips that can help you navigate and cut through the chaos when you find yourself surrounded by it.

All of the 10 lessons from the pit that I teach can be used and actually work well with chaos. They are lessons that can help give you clarity while you navigate through a season of chaos.

1. Keep a consistent heat alive in your daily life: 

   This comes from lesson number one, which is the heat. And the heat is consistent heat. That heat represents our faith or our spiritual walk as men. This can be in the form of prayer, meditation, time alone, time in silence just to collect your thoughts. When you have that consistent heat, it is going to give you clarity that you cannot get anywhere else. The number one key is spiritual heat: relationship with God, personal mindset, meditation, prayer. This is going to be what gives you strength.

2. Surround yourself with things, people, and community that build you up, provide support, listening ears, and speak positivity and life into you.

   What seasoning, or influence, are you allowing in your life right now? Are you connected to a community of other men that are speaking life into you? It is important to check yourself on these when facing a season of chaos. You should not go at it alone!

   So this could be in a number of ways: find a men’s group to be a part of, read some positive books, websites or magazines and then use podcasts to speak life into you! Fill your mind and your space with the right seasoning so you can have another block to add to your foundation as you face this time.

   Ahem, Lessons From the Pit by Tony Brown seems like it would be a great one for you to add to your podcast playlist! LOL

3. Focus on what is most important!

   Y'all, you can't do it all. You can't do it all, so don't. But you can focus on what is most important. Unfortunately, you might have to say no to some really great things in your life. It doesn't mean that you set them aside forever, but for a time you may just have to say no. Focus on the main things or the most important things. Determine what can't wait and what can wait. I would make it a point to be intentional in this by only focus on a few main things.

Pro tip here, you cannot do this without setting expectations. Have those hard conversations in a calm, open and accepting way with everyone involved, just to let them know what your expectations and your needs are and to find out what theirs are as well. Unmet expectations lead to heartache, anger, resentment, and a defeated situation before it even begins.

4. You've got to take care of yourself.

   If you've been on an airplane, you've heard that if the oxygen masks fall down from the ceiling, you gotta first put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Your health is still vitally important because you can't be at your best facing the chaos unless you're focusing on your health and taking care of yourself.

   So focus on those healthy habits. Do not let them slide. Remember to drink plenty of water. You need to eat the right foods that give you energy and focus. You need to make sure you're still doing some sort of exercise, even if it isn't your normal workouts or the normal amount of time. If you can, try to get in at least 30 minutes, three times a week. And then focus on breathing. Take a few deep breaths or focus on slowing your breathing a few times during your day. You can do this during meetings and nobody will even notice.

5. REST

   Without proper sleep, you're not as focused, you're not as energized, you're not going to be as quick with your thoughts, you're not going to be able to provide the right kinds of responses to the stress and to the fast pace of chaotic situations. You are not going to be able to respond the way you want. You are going to get frustrated easier and you are going to say things you don't mean and don't want to say. You are going to do things and make decisions that you wouldn't typically make if you were getting the right amount of rest, sleep and rejuvenation. By giving yourself some time to rest, to get away and focus on you for a little bit, you're going to be able to come back with a clearer mind, a new mind, a new attitude ready to tackle the chaos.

I hope that these five practical tips give you something you can quickly and easily put into practice in your life today. The tips can help you face your season of chaos full steam ahead because you are being proactive and not reactive.

You cannot change the chaos all the time, but you can change how you approach the chaos.

And then if you haven't done so already, go out to www.lifearoundthepit.com/10lessons to have the free printable PDF of the 10 Lessons from the Pit, A Pitmaster's Guide to Ignite a Life of Purpose, sent directly to your email inbox so that you can put these lessons out on your desk, hang them on your wall or your mirror so that you have them in front of you as you go through your days, weeks, months, years, life…you get the point. Let the 10 lessons guide you as you cut through the chaos.

Until next time: season some meat, start a fire and make an impact!

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